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Don’t judge us, but occasionally in the midst of an artist-filled party, beautifully chaotic people spilling tea and targeted notes, we can feel a little emo and existential. Turns out we aren’t the only ones, and one of our favorite artists BENEE, who we met at a young age beside a trendy hotel pool, has been metaphysically curious as well. The results on her latest album Ur an Angel I'm Just Particles are like a deep conversation with a likeminded soul in the corner of a busy party. Immediate & emotional, it's overwhelming in a good way: dynamic, edgy and said just a little too loud so you can hear it best over the less-curious adjacent party goers. The crisis sounds adventurous, unbothered by convention, but still grounded with pop familiarity. Ur an Angel I'm Just Particles is a fiery utopian version of understanding that takes the form of brash hyper-pop one moment, and melodic introspection the next. In short, it's a career trampoline that we hope launches BENEE to global stardom. In an effort to learn more, we dove into the world of deep thoughts, recipes, and more here:

OnesToWatch: The last time I spoke to you was at Hotel Figueroa when you performed for us. 
I think that was seven years ago.

BENEE: So long ago. 

Let me dive right into it. Given your upcoming album and the nature of what you’re writing about, do you feel like being an artist is as important as it's ever been for you? 


Yeah, I think so. Growing up, I’m realizing how lucky I am to have this job. It’s my emotional support and way to cope with life, but I’m also realizing how lucky it is to have this freedom of speech. People might hear that and criticize me for being political, but as an artist, it’s the one channel where you can really say whatever you want and to me, I feel like I have to use it to talk about real shit that is going on and try to help the chaos. 

Do you feel obligated to do that or do you think it's just part of your makeup as an artist and person to be influenced by what's happening in life and be motivated to talk about it?

It’s part of my makeup, but also I just don’t get how people can just be complicit and not speak up when they see really wrong things. There's something very old about that. When you see artists who don't speak up about things while they have such gigantic platforms and influence, it's pretty sad. I also come from a pretty political family, like my parents were always at protests growing up, so I feel like it's ingrained in me. 

Do you understand artists that are of the mindset that it’s a brand and a business and they don't want to sort of ostracize any part of the potential audience or do you see that contradicting the responsibility for an artist? 


No, I think more recently I can understand the nuance. I got a little intense over the first elections and stuff, and I could see the way that isolated some of my audience through being one-sided. So now, I’m more of the mind that people with platforms should be active and participate in discussions, rather than say “vote for this person” or something similar. I think there's a way to do it that's less aggressive and less forcing your opinions and ideas on people. It’s very complicated, so I understand both sides, but I’ve definitely learned a lot in the last year about generally just encouraging people to use their voices more. 


Exactly. If you lived in an alternate reality and you weren't a successful artist, what would you be doing? 

If I didn't do music, I'd probably be really depressed. I’d start a music animal sanctuary. I have a bunch of fluffy cows and cats and dogs. 


Let's dive into the album, Ur an Angel I’m Just Particles. Have you ever met an angel? 

Oh, 100%. I think I know a lot of angels. My mum's an angel.
A lot of my close friends are angels. Some artists I meet are angels, some random old lady on the street, little angel...
It's an energy for sure. And also a fantastical idea of something otherworldly, that maybe we don't actually know about, but have an idea of. Of course, there's also the belief that angels are what some people become when they pass. I love the ethereal, fantastical ideas related to Angel, but also just calling people an Angel. 

What about particles? You mentioned energy. Do you feel the physics of the world? 

I do. The particle side really ties to the creative world that I love, where your imagination can just be free to think whatever and make up anything it wants. But then, with particles I instantly think of science. That’s what we're made of, particles. There are particles in the air that we can't see. If you zoom into anything, there are tiny particles or little microorganisms, and then if you zoom out, same shit, the planets look like tiny particles. That was so fascinating to me in this world that I was building. It's just insane how many questions I have. I want to sit down with a scientist and make them tell me what the heck is going on here. I have a bacteria theory that we, as humans, spread on this planet like bacteria. 

Well, if you do that interview, let us know, we’ll start a whole new series. I often find it interesting that some of the smartest people I know, who are physicists, mathematicians and such, they often tend to get very religious. I think on the edges of understanding, faith and belief in what we don't understand becomes even more important. Does that happen to you as well? 

I have found myself getting a little more spiritual over the last couple of years. I don't even know how I'd explain it, but I’m coming to a weird sense of peace with not knowing, and also feeling a deeper understanding for how we have evolved and how we sit with nature and everything around us. I'm thinking about energy and how that exists and why. It makes me just think. We all just need to be really kind to one another and exist for however long we exist and ride the wave. That's the plainest way of explaining, but when you’re so overwhelmed by everything and not knowing the answers to the big questions – or even knowing and wondering too much – there's this weird calm when you realize you have to just accept it.
It does kind of lead you to this clarity. That was my “adulting” moment, is recognizing we can't really understand everything. 

I love it. Let's get into the album in terms of the sound. First of all, it's beautiful, super impressive work. 

Thank you. 


I sense a little bravery in you, in the sense that you’ve definitely adapted things going into this album, incorporating inorganic sounds and getting a little bit more thematic. What was the process of creating this album like? Were you more so experimenting or did you go in with a clear idea of what you would create? 

I think it's the first time, honestly, that I've been really deliberate with trying to make an album, and writing a story that is super cohesive. In the past, I’d been going to the studio, making songs, enjoying them, and then putting them all together on a project. But for this album, I really wanted to make it a strong body that people could listen to and hear a narrative going from the first song to the last song. It follows this very existential theme of the unknown and the discomfort of that, and me growing up and waking up and trying to puzzle my way through that. I've always been intimidated by the idea of a concept album, but I was always so fascinated in how an artist could do that, to make an album that has a theme or follows a story, ‘cause I'm so all over the place as an artist. I love to write about everything and anything, and I love to experiment with all genres, but I think that that can sometimes be a little bit of a nightmare when it comes to making a project. A lot of projects that really stand out are the ones that do have a throughline and follow a bold, strong story. But I think that once I locked in it all unfolded and made a lot of sense to me. But in short, it follows the themes of existentialism and euphoria and emptiness and these really strong contrasts. Love, identity, childlike wonder. When I moved here, I was so overwhelmed with the move from New Zealand, because it was so different. I felt very alone for a while and isolated, and that really started to make me have those big existential questions. I leaned on that childlike wonder. 
I love that idea of thinking like a child, because you think about how innocent they are, they don't know all these big scary things that you start to learn about when you leave school in the real world. Also I read a book by Stephen Hawkings called Brief Answers to Big Questions. I read that around the time that I started this album and that got me into my existential bag.

That’ll do it, for sure. How old are the oldest songs on this record then? 

The oldest one is probably... three years. 


Okay, so this is a big chunk of time. When would you say you were happy with it and you felt finished? 


We were finishing a couple of songs at the very start of this year. So, by the first quarter of the year, it was done, I think. Time really crept up that I was like, I feel like I've had it forever now at this point.

Do you have any sort of hopes and dreams for this record or are you just happy you got to make something? Does it feel done and like it’s behind you? 

It’s definitely done, but I love remixes and features and this album has one feature. So if there was a world where a couple of the songs could be remixed, I would love that. I did that with a single that I released, “Green Honda,” and I had Unknown Mortal Orchestra do a remix of it, and I just love it. It's so weird. I love that kind of music, when it makes you confused. It brings such a different world to a song. 

Amazing. I’m going to end on some more fun, less existential questions. Although I am one of those people I could probably talk about that forever. If this album goes to plan and you're happy with everything, what would you do to celebrate? 

Well, I just want to tour. Get out there and play a bunch of festivals and tour. And then I want to get in the studio with a handful of people for a couple of weeks and make another project. I don't really want to do anything else. 

You are an artiste. If you needed a moment of meditative zen, what would you do? How do you relax? 

Probably go to New Zealand. That is one thing I would like to do. To go home and relax with my dog. I don't get to be with my dog in LA 'cause she's too scared to fly. 

If you go home to New Zealand and got to celebrate with all of your friends, what kind of meal would you whip up for everyone? 

I'm not really a cook, to be honest… I like meals that I don't really have to cook. I love making a tuna wrap. I stopped eating meat for a while, and I'm back at it, so maybe a fillet of fish, a smoked salmon. I can make a pretty good stir fry. 

Those are all excellent answers.
Last couple of questions. First one, I want a non-music recommendation. It can be a book to read, a place to visit, an activity, anything. Then, I want a music recommendation. 

Okay, have you seen Weapons? That’s my rec, I loved it. But also, In The Mouth of Madness, it’s a weird movie, or Bug, that one is fucked. Outside of movies, I would reccommend going to Big Sur. It reminds me of New Zealand. Also, Bellinus, it’s so pretty, like an hour outside of San Francisco. 

Perfect. Last question, music recommendation. Either someone you’re listening to or were inspired by for the album. 

I like the new Unknown Mortal Orchestra EP. There's a song called “Death Comes from the Sky.” They have always inspired me. I love Gorillaz. Or Beach Boys, I listened to them a lot as I was working on the album. Not even a specific song, sometimes it'd just be like, what would the Beach Boys do? 

Love it. To end, the floor is yours! It can be advice, a joke, a “hi mom,” just a sign off. 

My sign off is, ride the wave. I had to say that to myself a lot in the last year, just ride the wave. When shit gets real whack, just ride that fucking wave, bro. 

Some surfer culture. I love it. Thank you for your time!

Thank you.