Cate Tomlinson Mourns the Death of a Friendship in the Cathartic “MY EX FRIEND”


Photo: Jordan Knight

Pop princess in the making Cate Tomlinson has released her second single of the year and it’s a cathartically revengeful feast. “MY EX FRIEND” is a straight-up diss, serving fiery emotions that are usually reserved for a lover scorned. Instead, Tomlinson sings about a friendship’s demise, honoring that a platonic death can be just as painful as a romantic one. The 23-year-old Bay Area native released her first single of the year back in April, the electric “Half Lover” with a killer music video to match. Despite only releasing her debut project in 2023, Tomlinson is instantly connecting with audiences due to her candidly real personality and how she communicates it through catchy melodies and nimble songwriting.

On the inspiration behind “MY EX FRIEND” Tomlinson shares, “There’s something about a friend break up that hits you in a deeper way than a romantic breakup, especially when it ends in betrayal. You never go into a friendship with the expectation that there’s gonna be an end date.” And it’s true. Messy breakups are the accepted risk of dating and falling in love, while friendships are expected to last forever or at the very least gradually grow apart. 

There’s venom in every word as Tomlinson delivers crystal-clear vocals that perfectly suit her ultra pop sound. She sings with intent, changing the inflection of her voice depending on the lyrical content in a way that paints a full picture of the situation. There’s mesmerizing vocal layering in the chorus with vibrating electronic production, elevating the whole experience. This energy is carried to the second verse, revealing a hard trap beat that ramps up as the song builds. As she fires off harsh but smart insults, it’s revealed that Tomlinson felt burned by the friendship due to prioritizing male validation over female solidarity.

In “MY EX FRIEND,” Tomlinson saves her hottest burn for the outro. She sings, “Sleepin good in my bed, Cause I know in the end / I’ll keep blowing up and you’ll keep failing out of pre-med,” taking notice of how in the aftermath, karma seems to be working in her favor. The track officially ends with her declaring “Okay, that’s enough,” signaling that she’s gotten it out of her system and can move on from the bitterness. It’s one thing to express how you feel and it’s another to linger on it, which is why “MY EX FRIEND” is the perfect way to exercise those demons.

“MY EX FRIEND” is a retribution anthem for the girls who have experienced painful friendship breakups. Tomlinson’s music is personality pop that shows listeners her inner self through exploring emotions that aren’t always easy and tame. 

Listen to "MY EX FRIEND" below:

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