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Photo by Lily Carmesi

There is a chance you’ve seen Tumblr style video montages of coquette aesthetic, girly pink movie scenes and angelical clips circulating on TikTok– the song tying them together is non other than “Claw Marks”, the viral debut single from Berlin-based, soft pop artist panicbaby.

A project that was only launched 7 months ago, panicbaby is now gearing up to release her debut EP “f u jonathan”, a title she chose because “we all probably know a Jonathan we despise”. The EP is ironic, relatable and self-aware, exploring the weakness and attraction we feel around people we know are bad for us, and the quiet absurdity of hoping they’ll change anyway. The result of wondering what went wrong and genuinely questioning how we could let ourselves love “Jonathan”, is a compilation of seven songs that, combined with her unique voice and understated production, make a statement on failed love.

Before this project, she was working in the dance and hyperpop spaces, writing for others and finding peace in working behind the scenes. Being an artist felt risky then, but after a period of hesitation, she decided to give herself a chance anyway. Fueled with what I am now calling the “Omnichord renaissance”, panicbaby gained the independence to play around with her own voice and style, sharing vulnerable videos of her songs, as well as video edits that led her songs to blow up online – something she tells me she was “genuinely not expecting”.

As she now prepares to go on her debut tour around Europe, she tells me about how performing is quite new to her, but she loves the idea of meeting the people who listen to her songs and creating a cinematic set for them to enjoy. She has carved out a world of her own, marked with girly, soft and coquette aesthetics and ethereal sounds to match, but what is most amazing is how naturally it all came together – almost like it was meant to be.

In this interview we discuss the making of “f u Jonathan”, the whirlwind of the last 7 months and the borderline religious significance that the Omnichord has for her music. What is clear is that, despite choosing the name “panicbaby”, this is a project that isn’t so much about panic, as it is about the artist finally feeling confident in her voice and getting ready to bring weird girl internet music to the world!

 OnesToWatch: Hi Sophie! How are you?

panicbaby: Hi Dany, I’m good! Currently in LA for Grammy’s week, doing a lot of sessions and meetings; it’s fun.

Wow. It sounds busy and super fun. Hopefully you spot some cool artists. I see that you are wearing an “f u jonathan shirt” from your upcoming EP!

Yeah! (laughs) I didn't pack pyjamas, so I just have to wear it. It's really embarrassing.

Not at all, merch are the best pajamas. You're working so hard then even in your sleep you're promoting the project.

Exactly, I love that!

You are releasing your debut EP “f u jonathan”, which is a great title because I personally have a Jonathan I’d love to say that to.

Oh my gosh. That's literally why I called the EP like that. A few people have messaged me as well saying “my ex -boyfriend's called Jonathan”. I feel like we all probably know someone called Jonathan that we despise and I wanted to make the album title relatable in that way.

The EP is coming out on the 13th of February. The lyrics speak a lot about guys that aren’t living up to expectations, heartbreak and anti-romanticism. Did you choose this release date because it’s Galentine’s Day and kind of an antithesis to Valentine’s Day?

I think you're half way revealing something to me and half way super right. We wanted to release the EP as kind of an anti -Valentine's for all the people that are not happily in love and need a bit of a fuck you to someone.

How will you celebrate the release and Galentine’s?

First for the EP, I am probably going to do a nice meet-up at a record store! I’m also definitely going to do something with my gals. I should actually be writing them some notes or something.

What would be the ideal day?

I think I would love to go for brunch, I'd love to go for like one or two drinks and then I love to go to the flea market. I do have to say that I kind of prefer going to the flea market by myself, because I have to stay sharp. I actually once found a Jean-Paul Gaultier snow globe perfume bottle for like 2 euros, when the actual value is well over 100, so I’m really proud of that.

You're also doing a debut tour, so how are you envisioning it and how are you feeling about it?

I haven't really performed live a lot because the project is so new and I’m more used to being behind the scenes of music. I did two small support slots that I was so very nervous for, but I actually had so much fun. Then I got the support slot for Artemas on February 3rd, which was super cool, but also 3 ,000 people. That was very exciting when I got it, and then two days later, I was like, “oh that’s actually a lot of people and I am actually doing this”. But I enjoyed it so much that I’m looking forward to all the shows. I’m so grateful to Artemas for all the support and the opportunity.

My tour will be way smaller, but I think that's also gonna be nice, very intimate and small. I'm just very excited to meet the people that want to hear the songs and that engage with me.

Is the Omnicord coming on tour?

Of course. I actually bought a Q Chord now that's waiting for me at home when I get back, which is a newer version (of the Omnichord) and it has a pitch bender, so I may also get to play with it on tour. But I haven’t done so much planning for the tour, I’ve mostly been thinking of how to arrange the songs and use the Omnichord to make it more intimate. And then I think the rest of the show is just quite ambient and even more dramatic and cinematic than the actual songs, if that makes sense.

I’m very excited to see how it turns out. You also have such a special vocal style that matches the music so well. So I'm wondering how did you kind of pinpoint this kind of ethereal vocal style?

I think it's funny because I get a lot of comments like “oh just another Lana copy “. Some others say it’s more like Lykke Li or Dillion. But that’s lowkey how I have always wanted to sound like, so it was empowering to have that comparison. I have a bit of a weird voice and for the last few years I felt like I shouldn’t be singing at all because there were a lot of people who didn't like my voice. And now with the Omnichord it was so empowering to be able to write on my own and explore my vocals again. It’s funny how when you feel insecure, it's so connected to your mind, to your body and your actual vocal chords that you can't actually sing. And then when you feel confident now, I feel like I can do way more than before, which is wild.

That is so true, everything is connected. I’d love to ask a rather basic, but important question. Why did you choose the name panicbaby for the project?

I think I really connected with that name because I was always a very anxious person. Something that's so scary, is that you feel very anxious while everything might seem normal around you. It’s an extreme state that doesn’t feel like fear, but actual panic. I think something that connects my generation is that we're just terrified all the time, and that’s why I chose it.

You’re based in Berlin. It’s such an iconic music city. Do you feel it has influenced your music?

For sure, a lot. I mean, Berlin, I feel like in Europe, it's probably one of the two or three music cities, right? And like it's definitely also become more so in the last few years. I used to work as a songwriter for dance for this project for a few years.

There's a lot of trends like techno or hypertechno that have come from Berlin now, and it feels really cool to be in the place where that's happening. And as a city, I just think it's very special.

I wanted to ask about the techno actually. I kind of scrolled back on your social media and I discovered your project from before called ”Horrible Sophie”.

Oh you did? That’s so funny.

I found it! And as you say, it's very dance and techno, quite different from what you're doing now. So I was wondering, like, how that transition was from this more techno scene to your sound.

I mean that project (Horrible Sophie) wasn't even the most techno I've done, it’s more in the hyperpop realm. Before that, I did some way harder techno and pitch stuff when I was working for others - I liked being behind the scenes. At that point I think I had kind of abandoned being an artist, probably because I was scared.

But then, in the beginning of last year I had more ideas again for songs and I was thinking that if I ever wanted to do something I should just really go for it and give myself a chance. I took three months off work writing for other people and just wrote for myself and posted it on social media. I was going to do three months and then if nothing had come from it I would stop, but some videos got some attention and that kind of made everything snowball.

It has been quite a snowball. Can I ask what were some of the things that scared you?

I think I was probably scared of looking stupid. I mean now I can't imagine feeling that anymore. But, obviously, posting yourself on the internet does feel very cringe. Thinking people are going to judge you or people are going to think you're stupid for trying. And also, it's obviously something quite vulnerable to write for yourself. So, I loved hiding behind writing for other people.

And also I think starting a project all by yourself, I was really scared of doing it alone. I didn't have management, I didn't have a label and there’s so many things to think about, it’s just overwhelming. I also didn't really know how to start because I thought that I was going to have to do sessions with people and producers to write songs, and then I didn't really know how to do that because without anything I can't just ask people to work for free.

Yeah it’s really tricky to see all the things you have to do. What helped you get through that?

Luckily what happened is that I found the Omnichord, my electric harp, and I started posting videos with that and luckily it connected. I could do that all by myself and that was freeing.

Before I thought I was going to have to fully produce tracks, record my vocals and edit them, but funnily enough when I did post some tracks where the vocals were more produced they didn't connect at all

I feel like we're in the midst of an Omnicord renaissance, I'm calling it that, because all of a sudden it's everywhere I look. You're one of those artists that uses it so beautifully and you have a very ethereal voice, so I feel like an Omnicord is the perfect tool. How did you get into starting to use the Omnicord and what do you think about this Omnicord Renaissance?

I mean I think it's great. When I saw the first video with an Omnicord I was so blown away because it is very ethereal and has very beautiful celeste, magical harp sounds. For me a huge inspiration is Lana del Rey, in her first album she's using all the sounds I was always looking for and always asked producers to play. So, when I saw that there was an instrument that had all of it, I just needed it. I was very broke at the time and I bought it from my savings account, which could’ve been a huge mistake, but I had a feeling that “it's gonna get me out of here”.

I look through the credits of the EP you're about to release, so you did find producers in the end! How did you end up finding these collaborators?

So, funnily enough, “Claw Marks” is produced by Ylva Brandtsegg, who's one of my best friends. We've worked a lot in dance music together. Basically, I had posted a TikTok with the song and the Omnichord and - I'm not sure if you've seen the videos that I edited where it’s a mashup of movie scenes and footage I found? But that video got some traffic and it was really crazy to me, I was so excited. So I thought I should put this out there ASAP. I called her and I said, “Hey, would you be down to produce, please?” And she's so busy, but she made some time and we did everything in two days.

Then, I also have a lot of songs with Novaa, who actually was my best friend in high school. It was really nice working with them both because they're both amazing producers, but also because on a human level it was so nice. I used to be very scared and insecure about writing or just voicing my opinion, so it was wonderful to be comfortable in telling them what I wanted.

That makes me so happy to hear. And it’s wild how "Claw Marks" has blown up. How did you feel when it started getting all of this attention?

I felt like I was going to pass out. I got an update from my manager about the streaming numbers being really high. I remember that I was with Ylva and we were both like “what's going on?” That's beyond anything we could have imagined. I feel so happy, like I need to run up a hill or I’ll explode.

That’s so crazy. I can imagine it’s also a lot to deal with so fast.

It's so fast! I think I've always been someone that really didn't believe in myself. I wasn't really like, super good at anything my whole life, you know what I mean? So then, when something happened that obviously I wanted really badly, it was so nice to see the people connect with that song that is very close to me in every way.

You should be so proud! And before you mentioned how the video edits helped it blow up? How did you come up with the idea to just make these little edits?

I was a huge tumblr kid and as a fangirl I would make these kinds of edits already, but then on TikTok I saw pages that cut together footage of very coquette things, Marie Antoinette, Sofia Coppola films, etc. It’s very girly, internet girl and dramatic. I love it, so I decided to make these edits for my songs.

I noticed you have such a defined aesthetic and lots of like symbolism, like the one in the videos. Is it an aesthetic you chose for this project, or something that is very you?

Oh, it’s very me. I have pink bows all around my apartment. I used to be an emo teen, so I never had that girly pink face, you know? So I feel like now I'm having that. There's so many things about the project where I felt like I was so lucky that the sound, the Omnichord, the cinematicness of the music - it all works together, and the aesthetic complements that. I didn't have to conceptually come up with it because it’s just so natural.

I love that. As we are OnesToWatch, who are your OnesToWatch?

I have a few actually. Ruby Roberts and Olga Myko, they're so sick and they're so whimsical. They are making weird girl internet music and Ruby is actually also supporting me on tour! One Norwegian artist as well is Martine Farstad and then Erin LeCount is just someone I’m so obsessed with.

I love weird girl internet music. Is that like your genre would you say?

I think it truly is. Because also now that I'm writing new music, I think we're experimenting a lot with which direction we're going in, but weird girl internet music really encapsulates it! Thank you so much for doing this with me. It's just so fun talking about stuff and I really appreciate that you did that.

I loved talking with you. Thank you and good luck with the upcoming tour and EP release! I hope you celebrate in a big way.

Listen to F U Jonathan below: